Friday, September 29, 2006

This Place

The face has changed on this place!

Might be time to add a new name - to...this...place!

Spinning wheel of black - seems a little too dark for...this...place!

There might be a new name coming soon - to...this...place!

I will be sure to let you know...before I go and go and go and change something...I want you to be able to find me.

Look for me in the whirlwind or the storm because here I come!

Peace

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Recovery

This weekend will be about recovery. I will put on my finest dancing shoes, scrape off the week's blues and find myself in the mist of recovery. Latin is taking its toll on my mind and I must rest. I must relax - and I will.

Call me on Friday after 9:50am, because that is when the party will begin!

So much has been going on in my life that I have not even had time to sit and write or sit and be right. I look forward to church on Sunday (I praise him all week), church gives me the time and place for a release. I have a date with Jesus!

Yeah recover that is what I will do - tonight I might even turn my cell phone off, let the folks that dare to bother me listen to my voice on the voicemail.

I have had a day that concerns a man that I wish would just tell me the truth. Or I wish that I only knew what the truth was. It has become hard for me, and trust that I never wanted to be one of those sistas that wore her jilted self, all on her shirt collar. I do think though that in more ways than one, I have become that sista.

No man is ever telling the truth! Sounds bad, I know. I really don't believe that but it gets hard out there sometimes, especially when I have already tried my best to trust a man and just when I knew he would not do anything to hurt me - he hurt me. Years and time has mended that wound - so this weekend I will recover!

To my friend: I am not sorry for the complications that we are having at this moment in time. But times passes and is the killer of forever existence. We may pass this and we may not. In time friend, in time. You will open yourself like a ripe melon getting ready to burst and you will give to me, all of your insecurities, doubts, questions, secrets and dreams. For now, don't worry about me - this weekend I will recover!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

God Don't Like Ugly and Ain't Too Fond Of Pretty!

Look at you. You have a brand new face. You look beautiful...Welcome to your new face!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

this morning

The main idea is for me to start taking better care of myself. Honestly, I am tired. I have been conversing with God this morning and he promises me everything will be all right!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A little Q & A

I have a secret.

A secret that I must tell.

In time, (if time permits) I will tell.

It was really kind of funny, and sweet, and new...

In love? No, not yet.

In strong like? No, not yet.

Do you even like...him? Yes, I do. With a few maybes dangling from my mind and a few questions here and then there.

The thing is...we fight and then we make up. And then we fight again and then we make up again.

Okay and then we talk, him laying on his backside, face and eyes scoping the ceiling. While I lay my head gently be-tween his upper belly and chest, we talk about our last night, and our yesterdays and what we dream of for tomorrow.

Surely, it was nice.

I fit perfectly in the spaces that he left open for me. Like the pocket in-between his arm and armpit. Comfortably in the shadow formed from his back. I slept there and he didn't even know it.

I didn't tell him, but I liked looking at him just as much as he liked looking at himself. Although, I think that more than anything I was looking for something inside of him. Something that I could wrap around my finger and hold on to. All of my strings went left untied. I was steadily searching for something in him...I asked a lot of questions. Most went unanswered.

He doesn't know, but I observed him at every turn. The way he walked, the way he talked, what made him laugh, what made him mad, what made his eyes light up, what he appreciated, how when he was really listening he held his lips tight, how when he was alert his ears lifted slightly, his breath was always sweet on me, his touch was soft (even when he thought he was being rough) and a kiss from him never took a disrespectful turn.

We are astrological twins. Leos in our own right. Though, still man and woman, we have differences. I, the hopeless romantic. He, sleeps on planet clue-less. He, the attentive one. I, slightly withdrawn and unaware. However, together we might fuse, maybe.

Afraid to have him in my life?

No, honestly I don't mind.

Is cruising better than speeding?

Yes, I think that this one I will take slow. Feel him out, don't turn him down so quickly as I often do.

Do you think that you all should just be friends?

No, friends first. Then I will ride the wave to wherever it lets me off at.

For now, questions are dangling from my mind and answers are hard to find.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Vibe is Live

Ahhhhhhhhh... and it was refreshing!

I did, I swear that I did - miss home. The smiling face of my mother who brews coffee early and has so much to talk about so soon. The inquiries from my sisters, they want to know how was it and how was he. The worried look on my brother's faces diminish as I walk calmly and speak sweetly to them.

My reply: It was good, all good. Everything was good.

I felt a certain comfortableness, if you will. Love was all about how much your fingertips could take if only you could reach out and touch it. I thank them! The Vibe was Live and even my words can not conjure up enough...enough...enough, to make you understand or even bear what happens in the secret of my poetry. A few days in Arizona gave me more than enough to call home about. I wanted to sit under trees and drink tea and sliced up grass leaves. I wanted to crawl in that space that is me and talk to you about it while sitting cross-legged under our favorite picnic table. (Ahhhhh...when was the last time I had a picnic.)

It was all satisfying and all gratifying and did it replenish me? Yes, I would have to say that it did. The Vibe was Live! And so was she, you know her Miss. Thang! Beautiful she is! I promise you, she was graceful. As beautiful as poetry to me. She didn't wear her age in her skin or in her hair or in her walk or in her talk - Her WISDOM resonates from within. Miss. Thang can I hang with you, latch on to you and share this world of poetry with you? Dance poetry on table tops with you, braid my hair and tell me what you know, learn from you...I want to open up the world and invite you to be my sister - in poetry.

Many, many, many thanks to you for showing me some love.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Inside these words are Love!

I think that more than anything; today - love has brought me back here, to this place. A familiar place where I can sit down, take my shoes off and write down the guarded feelings of my soul. There is almost an air of joy that surrounds me - need to help spread the joy that I feel in my heart to those who may not have "HIM" in their lives.

I know that in my soul of soul and heart of heart, that "HE" is "HE". I thank him for that, but there are times when "HE" makes his presence felt more times than others. If I may complete my story, without handing out too many words, I will be able to tell you how elated I was on Sunday when "HE" showed up and placed his arms around me.

"HE" begin to tell me what he thought of me. In the image of my brother he told me that I was "SUPERCALAFRAGALISTIC" and then taking the form of my sister "HE" asked that I "RISE". Then again, "HE" moved through each one of my siblings and even my mother and "HE" showered me in the words that "HE" knew my heart needed to hear: "RUN ON", "RAISON-D'ETRE", "FIRE", "BLESSED-BLISSED", "REMARKABLE", "NIGGANOT", "PERSEVERANCE", "PUSH" AND "FAVOR".

I didn't know, until "HE" had "THEM" to tell me.

Yo Ta - One day I will push that mountain hard enough to move it.

Momma if you ever find your way to this page, know that I think that even the bees envy me!

Bliss

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Some tricks I do love!

Grace and Peace

This weekend I found myself loving more than I ever have before. This weekend was one of pure beauty, graceful words and more love than I could hold. You remember when you would ask a friend for some of their sunflower seeds, how you would cup both hands together and still some of the seeds spilled out of your cupped hands. I felt this way on Sunday - but let me go back and tell you about Saturday.


  • Saturday - I was trying my best to be on time and yet and still I was late. I felt bad because I invited some friends and they were there before me. I wasn't there to greet them, instead they greeted me. It wasn't all bad though, because guess who showed up at the exact time as I did (did you guess?), the hosts of the show! So while waiting for the show to start, I had the chance to sit and chat with my friends, meet new people and learn more about some old people. Guess what - the show was supposed to start at 8:00pm, I don't think that the show started until like 10:00pm. I could have been furious, if I had been asked to feature. But I was just in the audience trying to listen to the poetry (something that I don't get to do very often anymore). The story doesn't end there. My brother in poetry enjoyed a few beers, I enjoyed a gyro (with fries fried way too damn hard- never again) and my friends enjoyed a Hookah. While I was trying to enjoy my Gyro and my Woo Woo (alcoholic drink) I was asked if I would read. I said no, but guess who ended up reading anyway- you got it, me. The night wasn't all bad - my friend who had never seen me perform before - saw me be myself for the very first time.
  • Sunday - I was ready to go to church - though I woke up with a headache. There was singing, dancing, foot tapping, hands clapping and an amen here and there. Time with God was good for me and good to me. I don't know if my pastor knows how much he has helped me grow - I will tell him one day. There was a blessing that the church received on this Sunday - we will be moving to the new building and the Moulin Rouge(though it has been good to us) can miss us! It is hot in there, but God blesses even in the heat! (Sending a shout out to my family at the Zion Cathedral)!
  • Still Sunday - I had to hurry and get away from the church on this Sunday, because I had some things to do. I did not stay long after I asked that Pastor bless some oil for me. Sunday was the 5th annual Back 2 School Weeeeeny Roast! Last year about the same time, Pastor Cox had given me the task of blessing all of the children in the family before they went to school. This year my sister thought that we would do something different, she brought bracelets that had printed on them: Faith, Hope and Dream. I would have the task of praying over each bracelet and then presenting them to the students. (Heavy)

I have to go, but I will continue this later in the day.

Grace and Peace

Bliss

Friday, September 01, 2006

Oh Bother!

Lately I have found myself gawking at furniture. I guess I have that bug. I have been even dreaming about a place, a place that I can call my own. A place that only I would (should) have access to. It is fun to dream, it makes everything (even what I think is impossible) seem possible (there is God again). I was lurking on the Target website and I found these beautiful shelves...You know, shelves that had Bliss written all over them. As if God hand made them for me and told the rest of the world to " Get back, these here shelves are for my baby"! I like to think that anyway. ***I would give y'all a link, but you might try to steal my shelves - selfish biddies****

I like to think that I am still real enough to dream and live and love. It is what I love to do, so why not? Sometimes, "I be" like - Oh bother there I go again, dreaming and loving and wanting to be loved - Oh bother.

Tomorrow,I will again engage myself in another infamous poetry venue, why you ask? Because I promised that I would be there. I won't be speaking (fingers crossed) - Oh Bother!

Like I told a friend earlier this week. Do not seek inspiration inside of a poetry venue, instead think of the venue as your platform. I place to display your work - from which the world and all of it's ugly and beauty inspired you to write.

Grace and Peace

Happy Friday!